If I were to ask you what the perfect food was, you would say bacon of course. Some of our more hippie inclined readers may say granola. But to them I say, what exactly are you doing here again? Go eat your human milk ice cream. In the mean time I was sent a picture tutorial for possible the greatest food product ever imagined, a truely sick and twisted individual came up with this. I feel that I should award them a medal, or some points. +1UP to you creator.

Thank you TWIS for this beautiful tip, even though I actually had to put some effort out on the picture work. 

-Danny

P.S. to be honest with you I don't think I could even eat this, but that basket weave work is pure art. 

could it be?

whennnnnnn you wish upon a starrrrrrr. makes no difference who you arrrrrrre. cause when you wish upon a star your dreeeeeeams coooooooome truuuuuuuuuuuuue.

thank you tipstah shan.

-Danny

Bacon Ink

Tell me bacon fans, how much do you love bacon? Do you love it enough to have it inked into your flesh for all of eternity? If you answered no to that last question, you should be ashamed of yourself. Leave me sight and go eat bacon until you die. While you do that, the rest of us will look at this amazing cornucopia of people who had balls enough to tattoo themselves with cured pork.













Bacon mustache = The greatest idea ever since the wheel. Hands down.

Thank you chillis for this wonderful effort as a tipstah, and if by some crazy chance the six people who read this have a bacon tattoo, please send me a picture.

-Danny

Shaken Not Cured

Hello There Bacon Fans-

I know that Jim and I have been away for awhile, but as far as I can tell we are going to come back and then re-abandon you. So strap in for that thrill ride. We have a topic that has been touched upon briefly here before, but it needs to be mentioned again. Mainly because the New York Post did an article about it, and semi-famous bacontally tipster Shan sent it to me.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please feast your eyes on the bottle to the left.



That is correct. Floating in that unmarked vodka bottle would be three delicious strips of porky goodness. Although the writer of the article at the New York Post decides to take a decidedly anti-martini viewpoint, I feel that it is still worth a read. Apparently this bacon is fine cured tennessee bacon which has been soaked in vodka for up to 24 hours, and then they garnish the glass with a piece of bacon at the bottom. To be perfectly honest with you, it almost makes me throw up. BUT, that is what we are about here at bacon tally.

Stir Crazy! by Brian Niemietz


-Danny

...

see more crazy cat pics

Suit up!

Clean Shirt, New Shoes
and I don't know where I am goin' to.
Bacon suit, bacon tie,
I don't need a reason why.
They come runnin' just as fast as they can
cause every girl crazy 'bout a pork dressed man.


Ahhh yea ladies, that's right, the Bacon Scented, Bacon Print tuxedo for your man.
Link to Archie McPhee.com - where you can buy this beautiful tux for only $99.95 + s/h


This works two ways, no doubt. You look good in this swine based formal wear, you feel good due to to your look and scent.

Hypothetical situation. You're single, invited to a wedding, and rather than take your sister you go without your "plus one." Flyin solo. That's not so bad. You've seen "Wedding Crashers" before and you knowww how to roll. Throw on this pork tailored tuxedo and you'll be fighting the chicks off with sticks. You'll be livin the dream man.

You don't believe me?

Oh ye of little faith. Let me present this slight bit of evidence to prove to you that hot girls love guys that love bacon. It logically works both ways. If a hot girl, as shown in the below video uses bacon to attract her prey, why would bacon not attract her? Kaboom!

Bacon Suit Up!

Instant cure for PMS

or so I've heard. Kudos to Joy for the tip that led to this bloggity blog blog!

Link

but not only can you buy it from that chocolate place linked above.....yes folks, you, yes you can make Chocolate Covered Bacon yourself!

Getting Started

You will need the following ingredients and necessary cookware:

Ingredients

• 1 bag (12oz) of Semi-Sweet Chocolate morsels
• 1 1lb of uncooked bacon
• Sprinkles (optional)

Cookware

• Large skillet
• Double boiler | medium sauce pan and smaller sauce pan (simulate double boiler)
• Cooking tongs
• Cooling rack | cookie sheet
• Large plate and some paper towel (2 or 3 sheets)
• Big Spoon

Procedure

1. Remove Bacon from package (I suspect it is possible to cook it in the package, but this might make it difficult to cover it in chocolate)
2. Heat large skillet on high.
3. Add bacon strips to skillet.
4. Turn bacon strips over as needed with tongs.
5. Cook back until it’s reduced to about ¼ of its original size and appears to be crispy. (Personally I believe that the bacon should be crispy; however if you prefer your chocolate covered bacon chewy opposed to crunchy then reduce cooking time by removing your bacon earlier)
6. Remove bacon from skillet and place it on a paper towel lined plate. (This will absorb the excess fat and oil making this a low calorie healthy snack)
7. While the bacon is cooling fill the double boiler or medium sauce pan with water and bring to a medium heat.
8. Place double boiler top pan in double boiler bottom pan or put the small sauce pan in the medium sauce pan.
9. Slowly add chocolate morsels into top pan and stir while morsels melt. Do this until all morels have been added. (Be sure to keep stirring to prevent the chocolate from burning.)
10. Using your fingers or tongs carefully dip the bacon strips into the chocolate, if necessary use a spoon to spoon the melted chocolate over the bacon evenly coating it.
11. Once coated lay strips on cooling rack or cookie sheet.
12. (Optionally) Apply Sprinkles evenly on chocolate covered bacon while on cooling rack. It’s important to apply while the chocolate is still warm. This will allow the sprinkles to better adhere to the chocolate.
13. Place cooling rack with bacon into the refrigerator for 15 minutes.
14. Carefully remove bacon strips from the cooling rack and place into a container or place the strips directly into your mouth.
15. Bring container with strips to work, school, or religious event.

In doing some online research, this other blog collected some testimonials, which I think are essential to the entire process.

Reviews:

“Tastes like Chicken”
Waitress of Detroit, MI

“Three Words; Full Moon Party”
Rene of Miami, FL

The Best Part of Waking Up. . .

Hello there Bacon Fans-

Raise your hand if you like The Office. OK now raise your hand if you hate waking up. No need to raise your hand if you like bacon, because you're already here. Well thanks to BT tipstah ThatsWhatISaid we have found the greatest Michael Scott invention since Mike's Cereal Shack.



Oh I know. I am shocked too. In fact I may have gasped out loud.

So let's go over the pros and cons of a large wooden box with a pig's face and a clock that will allow you to wake up to the smell and sound of fresh crackling bacon.

I would say that the pros were just named right there. You get to wake up to maybe the best smell given to us by whatever deity looks like a pig. Then after you smell it , you get to eat the byproducts. It's like one of those cars that expels water, except porkier. I would also consider the fact that it has a pig face a pro, it's kind of cute don't lie.

Alright cons. First of all you have to put frozen, and at some point raw, pork next to your bed at room temperature while you sleep. This just screams bad idea. Also you have something sitting on your dresser that can get hot enough to cook bacon! I picture an easy bacon oven on steroids. Also having a pig stare at you all night with the time on it's forehead, kind of creepy.

Verdict: If it will actually cook bacon, and not just give you trichinosis, then by all means find me a retailer who sells it. I'm counting on YOU tipsters.

-Danny

Bacon Mushrooms

Bacon Mushrooms - I think I am going to try this very soon.

1 container of fresh mushrooms (you decide large or small container)
1/2 bottle of Worcestershire sauce
2 tablespoons of garlic (we love garlic so we use a lot)
1 package of bacon

Mix the ingredients together in a gallon sized Ziploc bag and refrigerate. We usually do this the night before, however, they are still good with just marinating an hour or so.

Cut the bacon in half. Wrap each mushroom with the bacon and put on skewers. Place on a 350-degree grill for 30 to 45 min. until bacon is fully cooked. (Time depends on the grill. We have a Treager smoker and it takes longer than a regular grill.)

Enjoy!

A Lesson Learned

Hello there Bacon Fans-

So as you have been making and eating bacon, or even cooking anything for that matter, I imagine that you have had some sort of mishaps. This includes burning things, under cooking, and a variety of other bloopers blunders and boners.
Well I had started in on my recipe for quick bacon. I crack some black pepper on the uncooked bacon and then before it's finished cooking I put maple syrup on it. It makes bacon that is crispy, chewy, salty and sweet all in one.
This turns out, was a mistake to cook it as long as I did. The end results were disastrous and I'm still choking on the smoke. I had accidentally cooked the maple syrup for another 5 minutes and bad things happen. The pictures follow:







I know I look like I'm dying. Mainly because I am, it was so nasty. Anything for the Bacon I suppose.

-Danny

Strange Bacon Products

Bacon Pops, Bacon Spray, Bacon Martini, Bacon Ice Cream....

Need I continue.

This is an interesting slide show I found displaying some very strange and yet delightful sounding products.

Enjoy!

linky to story

Oregon, here I come

Voodoo Donuts - Portland, Oregon
Maple Bacon Donut

Link to review

I cannot believe how many people mock me for my thought that bacon and maple go well together. This looks like heaven. Two of my favorite foods combined. Donuts. Bacon. Donuts. Bacon.

Reviewer Michael Stern said of this purveyor of delectable donut delights:

Being a serious coffee city, it makes sense that Portland is also home to many excellent breakfast pastries. You'll find some of the best, and most unusual at Voodoo Donuts. We were tipped off to this place by Roadfood.com user Mr. Chips, who described it as a "great place to view Portland's strong Goth culture as well as sample tasty donuts," There is a strong counter-culture ambience to this bakery that looks a little like an after-hours club; whether or not it's Goth, we cannot say. But we can tell you with certainty that the donuts are dandy.

There are beautiful old-fashioned cake donuts with crunchy crust and creamy insides, puffy raised donuts, one glazed behemoth as big as a pizza labeled a Tex-Ass donut (and costing $3.95), and donuts topped with powdered sugar, multicolored jimmies, and all sorts of flavored glazes. The menu listed many mysteries that we'd love to return to find out about, including a no-name donut, a dirt donut, a cock & balls donut, a dirty snowball, and a diablos rex. The most curious item on the menu above the counter was "non existing fritter," its cost null.

The pastry I recommend the most is one to which Mr. Chips alerted us: a bacon-maple bar. It is a substantial buttermilk long john frosted with maple glaze and festooned with strips of bacon that somehow, magically, retains a welcome crunch. What a great all-in-one breakfast!

The only thing that makes me nervous about such a treat as this....is well.....the necessity of someone nearby trained to:

Even Metalheads Love Bacon

"BACON VERY IMPORTANT THAT BACON BE AVAILABLE AT EVERY MEAL AND DURING DAY" --Metallica


This salty request was so important to the Bay Area metalheads that it was repeated three times in their rider. Yes folks, this means that at every venue Metallica performs, they want bacon ready and waiting for them before, during and after their performances!

Link to Story

Clearly Metallica is worthy of our "Celebs for Bacon of the Week" award for their clear dedication to the salty fatty product that we all love...BACON!


~JM

The Super Food?

Hello there Bacon Fans-





For years the adverse affects of bacon on a person's health, mainly in the heart region, have been widely accepted. To this I say, pish posh. Recently it was brought out in a study by a Dr. Nathan Bryan from the University of Texas at Houston that the nitrates found in bacon formerly believed to cause cancer, could now be attributed to emergency heart health. This is the excerpt from the article on the website for 9 news now out of maryland and virginia:

"A researcher at the University of Texas in Houston says go ahead, eat that bacon. Dr. Nathan Bryan believes bacon is good for your heart. In fact, he says it could stop a heart attack.

Earlier research said bacon should be avoided because it contains nitrates. That research found nitrates could lead to cancer. But Dr. Bryan believes otherwise. "You should not avoid eating bacon because of the nitrate content," Bryan said. "If anything, the nitrate content is what protects our heart during a heart attack."

Bryan's research finds the nitrates in bacon forms a nitric oxide gas in the body. That can reopen blocked arteries, especially during a heart attack."

Obviously this is not widely accepted by the whole of medical community, and could in fact be a load of bollocks. But, for the time being I want to roll with this theory. In case I have a heart attack from a blocked artery due to the cholesterol in bacon, the nitrates will work to unblock that artery and get me going again. Sounds like a food utility belt doesn't it?

To this all I say. Huzzah to bacon!!

-Danny

Bacon Candy

Ingredients

• 1 lb Bacon (not thick-cut)
• 1/4 cup Brown sugar

Cooking Instructions

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

Slice bacon into 1/2 inch strips and dredge in brown sugar until thoroughly coated.

Crumple aluminum foil to allow for grease drainage and place it on a baking sheet. Lay out the bacon on this making sure not to overlap pieces.

Bake until crispy. Allow to cool and harden before serving.

Notes

It'll be the very first thing that's munched up if you bring it to a party. Guaranteed.

-Jim

Greatest Thing Ever?

Hello there Bacon Fans-



I don't know if you're aware of the greatest desert ever made. But, I'm pretty sure this may be it. Want the recipe? Well here it is.

• 1/2 pound bacon
• 1/2 cup butter
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 cup of flour
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 cups of corn flakes
  
• 1/2 cup raisins

First step is preheating the oven to 350 degrees to make sure that you can cook these things. Now cook the bacon until it is very crisp and a lot of the fat has rendered out. Drain and Remove the bacon from the pan, then break the bacon up into normal sized crumbles.

Now it's cookie time. Beat the butter and sugar together until it creams together and becomes fluffy. Beat in the egg. Combine the flour and baking soda into a separate bowl, then stir this into the butter mixture until incorporated. Now gently stir in the raisins, corn flakes, and bacon pieces. Make sure to not over beat it because you could make cookies like hockey pucks.

Then it's time to bake these babies. The portion you want is a heaping tablespoon of mixture (they aren't huge cookies). Place each about 2 inches apart on a greased cookie sheet. Bake in the oven (it's preheated to 350 right?) for 15-18 minutes until the cookies are golden brown and delicious (this is assumed). Cool on a rack or plate for 5 or 10 minutes.

Last Step: Enjoy.

-Danny.

Brand New Blog!

Welcome Bacon Fans-

I'm working on getting the first set of posts up with everything related to the world of bacon. Check back often, because bacon is always big news.

- Danny