Bacon Ink

Tell me bacon fans, how much do you love bacon? Do you love it enough to have it inked into your flesh for all of eternity? If you answered no to that last question, you should be ashamed of yourself. Leave me sight and go eat bacon until you die. While you do that, the rest of us will look at this amazing cornucopia of people who had balls enough to tattoo themselves with cured pork.













Bacon mustache = The greatest idea ever since the wheel. Hands down.

Thank you chillis for this wonderful effort as a tipstah, and if by some crazy chance the six people who read this have a bacon tattoo, please send me a picture.

-Danny

Shaken Not Cured

Hello There Bacon Fans-

I know that Jim and I have been away for awhile, but as far as I can tell we are going to come back and then re-abandon you. So strap in for that thrill ride. We have a topic that has been touched upon briefly here before, but it needs to be mentioned again. Mainly because the New York Post did an article about it, and semi-famous bacontally tipster Shan sent it to me.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please feast your eyes on the bottle to the left.



That is correct. Floating in that unmarked vodka bottle would be three delicious strips of porky goodness. Although the writer of the article at the New York Post decides to take a decidedly anti-martini viewpoint, I feel that it is still worth a read. Apparently this bacon is fine cured tennessee bacon which has been soaked in vodka for up to 24 hours, and then they garnish the glass with a piece of bacon at the bottom. To be perfectly honest with you, it almost makes me throw up. BUT, that is what we are about here at bacon tally.

Stir Crazy! by Brian Niemietz


-Danny

...

see more crazy cat pics

Suit up!

Clean Shirt, New Shoes
and I don't know where I am goin' to.
Bacon suit, bacon tie,
I don't need a reason why.
They come runnin' just as fast as they can
cause every girl crazy 'bout a pork dressed man.


Ahhh yea ladies, that's right, the Bacon Scented, Bacon Print tuxedo for your man.
Link to Archie McPhee.com - where you can buy this beautiful tux for only $99.95 + s/h


This works two ways, no doubt. You look good in this swine based formal wear, you feel good due to to your look and scent.

Hypothetical situation. You're single, invited to a wedding, and rather than take your sister you go without your "plus one." Flyin solo. That's not so bad. You've seen "Wedding Crashers" before and you knowww how to roll. Throw on this pork tailored tuxedo and you'll be fighting the chicks off with sticks. You'll be livin the dream man.

You don't believe me?

Oh ye of little faith. Let me present this slight bit of evidence to prove to you that hot girls love guys that love bacon. It logically works both ways. If a hot girl, as shown in the below video uses bacon to attract her prey, why would bacon not attract her? Kaboom!

Bacon Suit Up!

Instant cure for PMS

or so I've heard. Kudos to Joy for the tip that led to this bloggity blog blog!

Link

but not only can you buy it from that chocolate place linked above.....yes folks, you, yes you can make Chocolate Covered Bacon yourself!

Getting Started

You will need the following ingredients and necessary cookware:

Ingredients

• 1 bag (12oz) of Semi-Sweet Chocolate morsels
• 1 1lb of uncooked bacon
• Sprinkles (optional)

Cookware

• Large skillet
• Double boiler | medium sauce pan and smaller sauce pan (simulate double boiler)
• Cooking tongs
• Cooling rack | cookie sheet
• Large plate and some paper towel (2 or 3 sheets)
• Big Spoon

Procedure

1. Remove Bacon from package (I suspect it is possible to cook it in the package, but this might make it difficult to cover it in chocolate)
2. Heat large skillet on high.
3. Add bacon strips to skillet.
4. Turn bacon strips over as needed with tongs.
5. Cook back until it’s reduced to about ¼ of its original size and appears to be crispy. (Personally I believe that the bacon should be crispy; however if you prefer your chocolate covered bacon chewy opposed to crunchy then reduce cooking time by removing your bacon earlier)
6. Remove bacon from skillet and place it on a paper towel lined plate. (This will absorb the excess fat and oil making this a low calorie healthy snack)
7. While the bacon is cooling fill the double boiler or medium sauce pan with water and bring to a medium heat.
8. Place double boiler top pan in double boiler bottom pan or put the small sauce pan in the medium sauce pan.
9. Slowly add chocolate morsels into top pan and stir while morsels melt. Do this until all morels have been added. (Be sure to keep stirring to prevent the chocolate from burning.)
10. Using your fingers or tongs carefully dip the bacon strips into the chocolate, if necessary use a spoon to spoon the melted chocolate over the bacon evenly coating it.
11. Once coated lay strips on cooling rack or cookie sheet.
12. (Optionally) Apply Sprinkles evenly on chocolate covered bacon while on cooling rack. It’s important to apply while the chocolate is still warm. This will allow the sprinkles to better adhere to the chocolate.
13. Place cooling rack with bacon into the refrigerator for 15 minutes.
14. Carefully remove bacon strips from the cooling rack and place into a container or place the strips directly into your mouth.
15. Bring container with strips to work, school, or religious event.

In doing some online research, this other blog collected some testimonials, which I think are essential to the entire process.

Reviews:

“Tastes like Chicken”
Waitress of Detroit, MI

“Three Words; Full Moon Party”
Rene of Miami, FL

The Best Part of Waking Up. . .

Hello there Bacon Fans-

Raise your hand if you like The Office. OK now raise your hand if you hate waking up. No need to raise your hand if you like bacon, because you're already here. Well thanks to BT tipstah ThatsWhatISaid we have found the greatest Michael Scott invention since Mike's Cereal Shack.



Oh I know. I am shocked too. In fact I may have gasped out loud.

So let's go over the pros and cons of a large wooden box with a pig's face and a clock that will allow you to wake up to the smell and sound of fresh crackling bacon.

I would say that the pros were just named right there. You get to wake up to maybe the best smell given to us by whatever deity looks like a pig. Then after you smell it , you get to eat the byproducts. It's like one of those cars that expels water, except porkier. I would also consider the fact that it has a pig face a pro, it's kind of cute don't lie.

Alright cons. First of all you have to put frozen, and at some point raw, pork next to your bed at room temperature while you sleep. This just screams bad idea. Also you have something sitting on your dresser that can get hot enough to cook bacon! I picture an easy bacon oven on steroids. Also having a pig stare at you all night with the time on it's forehead, kind of creepy.

Verdict: If it will actually cook bacon, and not just give you trichinosis, then by all means find me a retailer who sells it. I'm counting on YOU tipsters.

-Danny

Bacon Mushrooms

Bacon Mushrooms - I think I am going to try this very soon.

1 container of fresh mushrooms (you decide large or small container)
1/2 bottle of Worcestershire sauce
2 tablespoons of garlic (we love garlic so we use a lot)
1 package of bacon

Mix the ingredients together in a gallon sized Ziploc bag and refrigerate. We usually do this the night before, however, they are still good with just marinating an hour or so.

Cut the bacon in half. Wrap each mushroom with the bacon and put on skewers. Place on a 350-degree grill for 30 to 45 min. until bacon is fully cooked. (Time depends on the grill. We have a Treager smoker and it takes longer than a regular grill.)

Enjoy!